dreams…they're killing me. Literally.
it's not unusual for me to have dreams – I mean nightmares- where i'm being pursued by a serial killer; or being robbed-and-stabbed by a black-masked thug; or engaging in a mortal combat, with all the martial arts stuff and weapons, and lose my life in the end.
I always end up dead in my nightmares, whether i've been stabbed to death or simply pushed over an nth storey building. I don't get it with these dreams, why do I have to die? And the only way of saving my life is to wake myself up from these nightmares.
last night, around past midnight i guess, i had this strange dream. at first it was clear to me. i was in quesci for our fifth year. i was still in darwin. cate and steph were there but in a different class. this part of the dream was the fun part. then shift in the environment. there was this high-tech primitive bridges. can't describe it in words...but it was made of bamboo and it was an amazing structure. it was sort of a tunnel. there were gates and guard-like personnel at the end of each segment. And at each gate there was a mortar-like object, more like a thigh bone of a cow, used to bang at the gates for signal purposes, sort of a distress call to alarm other guards of any incident.
in one of the exits, the one I was about to take, there was this guy at the end of the stairs. he seemed to be living in a shanty kiosk, and was preparing a meal for two. he was constantly calling out to, whom it seemed to be, his wife. but it occurred to me he was calling to an absent being. I figured out that there was really no one else with him and that he's kind of delusional. i was frightened by his constant calling out that i informed the guard at my exit. he said i better wait for the authorities just to make sure the crazy guy would do something crazy. So he banged his cow bone in succession to signal near by cohorts. for the meantime he asked me to stay with the other guard on the last exit. As I stayed there I told the other guard about what happened and he insisted that I stay right there. a group of 5 teens were passing by and were heading for the exit I mentioned before. In this group of 4 girls and a guy, none of them were familiar to me; except for one girl who resembled a xientian batchmate and the guy who resembled a cousin.
i warned them of the crazy guy ahead. Then I decided to join the group and I thought it was safe enough since we're a crowd and the crazy guy may not be crazy enough to assault 6 people. There was definitely no hesitation in this decision but the guard asked if we're sure about this. "Positive!" and we formed a line of two, each paired with the other.
we made our way to the exit in our formation of pairs and found that the guard who'd been there had left and the crazy guy was nowhere to be found. We thought maybe he was already taken care of. That's what we thought. As we got off the stairs one of the girls looked back and saw the guard as well as his brains, as his body was tied up to a fence. His head had been bashed with the cow bone that it busted his brains out. We started to "stay calm!" amidst the panic we're in. we started to dart to the next footbridge. I could hear my heart pounding hard in my dream body and in my real body. I was starting to feel chronic pains and experience heavy breathing as we were running towards the next stairs. I was in the rear end of the line paired with the other guy. And as we were running through the stairs I can sense that something was already behind me and I started to run what it seemed to be in slow-mo. But I was the only one slowing down and eventually being far behind the others. At this point I was really in pain, and having trouble breathing. I didn't dare to look back for I sensed that I was only arm-reach from the crazy guy. And he was already trying to reach me from behind…
No…no…please…
I suddenly just opened my eyes.
Panting and totally freaked out… still lying on my side, I looked around my dark room. It seemed to me that the crazy guy was in the room. I shut my eyes but to my shock I have to open it up again. My dream was still running through my mind…I was still running for my life even though i'm already awake and conscious. I dared myself to finish the nightmare just this once and see what's in store in the end. But every time I close my eyes my chest pains would just stabbed me. I can't finished this nightmare in this condition. I just kept my eyes wide open even though they're shutting on their own. I was in pain and couldn't come up with something to save myself from the terror in my dream and in reality.
After I've calmed myself, which took almost half an hour, I dozed off… into a deep, dreamless sleep.
...napuyat ako dun ah...i think a cup will keep me awake.
one cup at a time
in one of the exits, the one I was about to take, there was this guy at the end of the stairs. he seemed to be living in a shanty kiosk, and was preparing a meal for two. he was constantly calling out to, whom it seemed to be, his wife. but it occurred to me he was calling to an absent being. I figured out that there was really no one else with him and that he's kind of delusional. i was frightened by his constant calling out that i informed the guard at my exit. he said i better wait for the authorities just to make sure the crazy guy would do something crazy. So he banged his cow bone in succession to signal near by cohorts. for the meantime he asked me to stay with the other guard on the last exit. As I stayed there I told the other guard about what happened and he insisted that I stay right there. a group of 5 teens were passing by and were heading for the exit I mentioned before. In this group of 4 girls and a guy, none of them were familiar to me; except for one girl who resembled a xientian batchmate and the guy who resembled a cousin.
i warned them of the crazy guy ahead. Then I decided to join the group and I thought it was safe enough since we're a crowd and the crazy guy may not be crazy enough to assault 6 people. There was definitely no hesitation in this decision but the guard asked if we're sure about this. "Positive!" and we formed a line of two, each paired with the other.
we made our way to the exit in our formation of pairs and found that the guard who'd been there had left and the crazy guy was nowhere to be found. We thought maybe he was already taken care of. That's what we thought. As we got off the stairs one of the girls looked back and saw the guard as well as his brains, as his body was tied up to a fence. His head had been bashed with the cow bone that it busted his brains out. We started to "stay calm!" amidst the panic we're in. we started to dart to the next footbridge. I could hear my heart pounding hard in my dream body and in my real body. I was starting to feel chronic pains and experience heavy breathing as we were running towards the next stairs. I was in the rear end of the line paired with the other guy. And as we were running through the stairs I can sense that something was already behind me and I started to run what it seemed to be in slow-mo. But I was the only one slowing down and eventually being far behind the others. At this point I was really in pain, and having trouble breathing. I didn't dare to look back for I sensed that I was only arm-reach from the crazy guy. And he was already trying to reach me from behind…
No…no…please…
I suddenly just opened my eyes.
Panting and totally freaked out… still lying on my side, I looked around my dark room. It seemed to me that the crazy guy was in the room. I shut my eyes but to my shock I have to open it up again. My dream was still running through my mind…I was still running for my life even though i'm already awake and conscious. I dared myself to finish the nightmare just this once and see what's in store in the end. But every time I close my eyes my chest pains would just stabbed me. I can't finished this nightmare in this condition. I just kept my eyes wide open even though they're shutting on their own. I was in pain and couldn't come up with something to save myself from the terror in my dream and in reality.
After I've calmed myself, which took almost half an hour, I dozed off… into a deep, dreamless sleep.
...napuyat ako dun ah...i think a cup will keep me awake.
one cup at a time